“I’ll be bringing a baby brother home to you soon!”

“I’ll be bringing a baby brother home to you soon!”


this was the last bump pic I took on July 8th

July 9th:
Zion's due date.
Meguell and I went on a walk that evening up the driveway. We chatted, and I consistently felt some contractions as we walked. Then as we came back to the house, contractions stopped. We went about our evening, getting our EZER Snacks Cookie Dough Restocked (which happens each Friday night).

Then that night, like I had each night that week, I went to bed, hoping I would wakeup in labor.

THE MORNING OF JULY 10TH…

Around 5AM, on Saturday July 10th, I felt something coming out of me. (liquid)

I immediately jumped out of bed and went to the bathroom thinking OMG my water must’ve broke! I was so so so excited and ready to have this baby! I wrote my sister, then called her, she was asleep upstairs!

She eventually came downstairs to the bathroom where I was at.

Initially I said my water broke, but then I realized it might’ve been my mucus plug.

In some order of things, we woke Meguell up, called my mom (who got ready and left her house to meet us at the birth center), and we called my midwife.

I realized that what came out of me was bloody, but I was so giddy that we were going into labor and today was the day to finally have my boy. So, I didn’t pay attention too much. They always say you might have a “bloody show” with your mucus plug or water breaking. So it didn't even cross my mind it would be anything else.

While on the phone with my midwife I mentioned it was bloody, and she said, “Like really bloody or just a little??” I said…”hm….not sure.” So she asked if I was still bleeding. I wiped and it seemed to be going away. (Another reason why I made the conclusion that this must be my mucus plug.) So I told her it had stopped. And she said okay and let’s go ahead and both leave to meet at the birth center.

We went about our business. We made coffee, and switched things to my sister’s car since she decided she wanted to take my youngest niece with us since she still nurses her. She figured this might be easiest on everyone watching our kids.

I remember going back into our bedroom and Eliza woke up some. I softly told her to go back to sleep, and excitedly shared…. “I’ll be bringing a baby brother home to you soon!”

I hate this part. I hate reliving this giddy, excited mother-to-be, promising an older sibling that should would have a brother soon. 
Not to mention, this was my first time to give birth at a birth center, which meant I would be (or should've been) home later that day, with newborn baby brother in tow. 
But that never happened, and those words I spoke hang over me. 

In my 3 previous births, I had my babies at a hospital. It was 5 minutes away from our home in Abilene, TX. And each birth was beautiful, different, and each all natural. 


Zander-baby #1 - I was 26 years old. I labored at home for hours (2AM-11AM), I wanted to stay home so I could stand, lay, bathe, move around without wires or IV's attached to me. So I did. Then I labored at the hospital for multiple more hours. Refusing Pitocin, and epidurals, and really didn't have a ton of pain that I couldn't breathe through, until 7PM, and he came 2 hours later. It was hard, but beautiful. 

Eliza-baby #2 - Two years later, and this girl. She was a week past her due date and I did everything to get her to come. Ate a pineapple, tried to pump, climbed a West TX Mountain, and finally, put some castor oil in a smoothie at night. I woke up in labor around 2AM, and quickly realized we needed to get there. Drove the 5 minutes like crazy, and barely made it inside the hospital. My husband found a wheelchair in the parking lot, and sprinted me to the front. I had her 6 minutes after getting in. No wires attached to me then haha 

 Ezekiel-baby #3 - This birth, I really wanted my water to break on its on. I prayed hard for it, and it happened....on his Due Date! My water broke, my husband took a shower (lol), and then we made our way to the hospital. I hid out in the bathroom for the 2 hours we were there (avoiding all the wires), and then came out and pushed that baby out. All natural, painful, but incredible. 

And then there was ZION-BABY #4 - We had moved to East TX, and I'm not going to lie, knowing that I had a 40minute drive to the hospital this time, made me a little timid. 
I spent many of my pregnant days in prayer against FEAR! 
I thought I was praying for that so that I wouldn't be afraid for the long drive there (gosh I hated contractions in a car ride, which I had a lot in pregnancy 2 & 3). 
But maybe really I was praying off FEAR for all that was to come on that day. 

 

So that morning, as we packed some snacks and grabbed our coffee, I was aware the cramping/contraction feelings were definitely happening, and in my head was ready to go. I took coffee, and never drank it.

We got in my sister’s car.

Meguell driving, me in the passenger seat (they put a large pad on the seat for me (like a doggy pee pad or the ones that put under you when you give birth). My sister sat in the back next to my niece. She recorded some video along the way, just like I told her.

We had my car diffuser and lavender oil going. (it was in my peaceful plan for the card ride to have lavender oil dispensing) 

As we drove, we put on worship. But as pain increased, I couldn't let random songs play. My mind couldn't handle that and the pain. So I asked them to keep it on one song. The same song. The same song that would play a lot over the next 3 days. 

I prayed so much for this birth. I wanted it to be peaceful. I wanted to keep my focus on the Lord. I wanted it to be worship filled. I did everything in my power through atmosphere and prayer to do that. I wanted to pray off any fear. So even as I felt contractions, I tried to stay focused on worship and not on the pain.

 

As we drove there, (it was a little over a 30minute drive), I felt probably 3 small gushes coming out of me. I remember thinking that my water must’ve surely broke then.

I didn’t say it out loud because I wasn’t talking. When I’m focused, in  pain, or doing something hard, I don’t talk. I just stay focused. And that’s what I was doing. Meguell even asked once if I wanted to track my contractions, but I said no, I didn’t have it in me to track them. I just wanted to stay focused on staying peaceful.

Honestly in past pregnancies, our drive to the hospital was always a speedy 5-7minutes from our house. And I always remember how hard the contractions were to deal with while sitting in the seat of a car. So honestly I had been most concerned about the long car drive I knew we had because of where we lived now. I knew it would be long, and I knew I wanted to not let into fear about car contractions. So I prayed so much that the car would be peaceful. So when I felt harder contractions I just tried not to focus on the fear of them intensifying while in the car.

When we drove up the birth center, I was excited and ready. I opened the door of the car and was going straight in while they got all the stuff. I did snag my phone and video as we drove up…. “We are here I said….and then out loud for the first time I told them….And I’m pretty sure my water broke!” To which my sister replied… “WHAT!?? OMG I’m so glad we put that pad under you in my car!!”

 

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