"We need to get her to the hospital!"

"We need to get her to the hospital!"

That morning, traveling to Longview, to the birth center, was calm and so exciting for me. I had no idea the concerns Brittany had as she rode in the front seat.  What I can tell you now with certainty, is she holds her composure about things way better than I do! She would tell me later that she was worried on the drive and just praying. The blood wasn't normal for her other pregancies and she knew that. She was also having contractions, so maintaining her composure during those as well.
I sat, obliviously, behind her. She was reading the cards people had written at her shower for Zion. They were prayers and blessings over her labor and delivery. I kept peeping over her shoulder, I was so excited, but also trying to be chill and quiet. I've always read moms in labor want peace and quiet. As we drove along we played the song, "Jireh," by Maverick City over and over. Who knew that song would become THE SONG of everything Zion. 
I remember driving down a road as we headed to the Birthing Center and having to do a u-turn because the road was blocked off. It is really interesting to me the memories that stick when you go through traumatic events. 
We get to the birthing center and we immediately go in. Britt said she had to go to the bathroom and they went in there with her. I heard them talking about the blood, but I was busy ensuring she had her diffuser with oil going next to the bed and setting up her music that she wanted. We had discussed the things that were important to her and they were at the top of my head. If they were important to her- they were important to me. 

Inside though, I was starting to freak out. I was listening to them. I felt there was a need for concern, but what you should know is I freak out really easy.

They moved her to the bed... and [I am not sure how I am supposed to share all of this stuff without feeling it again, without crying] They started looking for his heartbeat. She thought she found it. But it went away quickly and they kept looking. Brittany sat there eyes closed, breathing and praying.

I was very aware of the fact that they were struggling to find this heartbeat.
I remember at one time wondering if it was Brittany's heartbeat that they actually found and not Zion's.

My next memories are them saying "we need to get her to the hospital!"

So at this point we are all rushing. I make sure I have the diffuser and oil she wanted. Mom has my baby. I am getting my baby's car seat from the car they are driving so I can ride with my mom.

Britt had not said a word. She was Brittany. Calm, cool, Praying.
Inside I am freaking out, all the while knowing and repeating to myself "they can't find the heartbeat."

These moments went so quickly. I get into the car with my mom,  Britt and Meguell got in my van and the midwife sped off, with them to follow.
As Meguell backed out I saw my sister. I saw her face. 

I got into the car with my mom and I said "Mom, she's crying!"
And we sped off, with Meguell's mom behind us, to the hospital- I knew something was very, very wrong.


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